Too skinny ?

I am a relatively muscular guy and at 185 and 6' and want to lose another 15 pounds, but I am starting to get "you are looking too skinny" comments from people, Including my wife. I am SO not too skinny...I don't want to hide what I am doing, but how do I deal with people starting to tell me I should eat more or, "You have lost enough now, you should stop" ? ?

Mon. Mar 31, 5:56pm

i get this alot, im 110 lbs, 5/2 female, and everyone tells me im too skinny when i say im on a diet. then i try to tell me that mainly im trying to gain muscle that has turned into fat. they still kinda of judge you. i just try to not talk about losing weight and just say im trying to build muscle, its usualy gets them off my back

Monday, March 31, 2008, 7:53 PM

Well my husband is '6 and 155. He's naturally skinny and can't gain any more weight (yes he's tried) so I definitely don't think your too skinny. I got that when I was losing weight. From my experience many people don't want you to succeed when losing weight. If you succeed then it's in their face that it can be done, if you fail then they feel okay that they can't lose weight.

Monday, March 31, 2008, 8:48 PM

I'm 5'2, about 135 or so, and I get different responses. I've had a couple make comments about my weight while others tell me I'm skinny. Like when I've talked to my therapist about losing weight and binge eating, she'll change the subject as soon as possible....even though I say I want to create healthy "relationship" with food...ya know, like not using food to cope.

I'm no way skinny; I'm definitely a bit chunky. I've been sticking to loose tops and jackets to hide my midsection for several years now since gaining weight, and I can totally tell in my face when I look at pics of myself.

I think because more people in this country are overweight and then we have skinny celebrities, we have a skewed version of what skinny and fat is.

I, myself, just want to be fit and decrease my body fat/gain muscle. Don't see anything wrong with that.

Monday, March 31, 2008, 8:48 PM

I think it is different for a guy...I am a female triathlete and see and hear many comments about a few guys I train w/ being to skinny...some honestly are jealous and some are right, they are too skinny .I would just maintain a healthy diet and note that on a general H&W chart you are actully in perfect range 147-187lbs for 72" male...

Monday, March 31, 2008, 8:50 PM

Haha there are two 8:48's....but I'm the second one.

Anyway, so yeah I was going to also say my dad is 6 feet and 162 or so. He tries to gain weight the healthy way (eating whole grain bread and pouring on olive oil and such), but he can't.

I also agree that I think there are some ppl who don't want others to succeed when it comes to weight loss or any other goal.

Monday, March 31, 2008, 8:52 PM

My husband is 5'11" and 142 pounds.. he eats healthy food and works out twice a week.. he just doesn't put on any weight..

Monday, March 31, 2008, 9:05 PM

I think that people remember what you may have looked like, if in fact you have already lost weight, and believe that you are much thinner than you were, so of course now you are too skinny.

Monday, March 31, 2008, 11:09 PM

I think it's all subjective....I personally like men who aren't skinny, not fat, but just have some bulk to them. one of my male friends is 5'11 and 165 and I think he looks way too thin. But that's my opinion and personal taste only. However, I think 15 lbs. might be a little excessive. Yes, some people may try to sabotage dieters, but I find most people (that you can trust anyway) are just being honest.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 10:44 AM

-OP here
Thanks for all your comments, I just want to stick to my goal and am continuing to find it difficult with not just a lack of support, but seemng subversion and opposition from those closest to me - 170 is totally not unhealthy for me, what can I do to stick to it despite my family?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 11:04 AM

I think you need to get your wife on board. You can just ignore the comments (and avoid the topic all together) with the rest of your fam, but that won't work with your wife. And anyway, she's supposed to be on your team, not working against your goals.

Talk to her - convince her that losing 15 more pounds isn't going to be unhealthy. And, reading waaay more in to this than I probably should - make sure she's not feeling insecure about your weight loss. Is there a deeper issue going on here that you need to work out?

Oh, and just because I'm on a rant about this - why do you care so much about the number? Your wife isn't going to know when you've lost 15 pounds or not, unless she's watching the scale when you step on it. (Who can accurately guess weight just by looking at someone? Maybe some people can get within 10 pounds...but I seriously doubt that anyone can consistently do better than that.)

I'd say focus instead on the visual, or get your % body fat tested and focus on increasing muscle and losing fat. Numbers are just numbers. What's important is to be healthy and look like you want to look.

~B

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 11:40 AM

Do everything you've been doing already...the motivation has to come from you and shouldn't rest on what others say. That being said, don't get to a weight that is too hard to maintain because it will eventually creep back and you'll feel like you failed. Stay where you can maintain it with healthy eating and not dieting.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 11:41 AM

Thanks B.
Yes, my wife is just a little overweight, quite inactive and also 4 months pregnant, so that may be a factor (I am never hard on her and try to encourage a healthy lifestyle, but I've got to pick my battles) So I know you are right I need to get her on board, but it is really hard. My hobby is the gym. Her hobby is cooking.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 1:48 PM

Cooking light after you go to the gym together. Voila!!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 2:05 PM

2:05 excellent suggestion - what do we do with our 1 1/2 year old little guy ? ;)

- I guess I could try to get home a little earlier and we could all take a little walk...

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 2:12 PM

My husband and I found that we got an elliptical machine and a weight bench once the kids go to bed we go downstairs and workout together. It's nice to spend time with each other and still get to have exercise time.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 2:28 PM

Most gyms have playrooms for the kiddies. The YMCA even makes you sign up in advance and you get penalized for too many cancellations so it really makes you keep that gym date.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 2:36 PM

Now that it's staying lighter longer you can definitely go out after work. Pop the baby in a jogging stroller, walk/jog to your nearest playground (assuming it isn't a block away of course), let him play for 20 min, then hoof it home for a nice healthy dinner!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 2:41 PM

Do what YOU want. I had the same reaction when I lost weight ("Are you SICK or something??").

Here's an interesting experiment for you:
Maintain your weight for a while and take pictures of yourself at different weights, including your "goal." Write down how you feel the first time you see the pictures, and then look at it several months later (regardless of your current weight). If you like pictures at a certain weight, and how you feel at that weight, then stay there! Make sure it's not impossible to maintain (like you workout 6 hours a day and eat only carrots).

Personally, I look back at pictures from my original goal weight (115 or below) and frankly, I'm a little too skinny. I can see why people were asking if I was sick. I also had to spend 1-2 hours a day working out and could never eat more than about 1400 calories. My new goal is to maintain 117-120 because I love the pictures of myself at this weight. (When you are this small, two pounds is a big difference). And, I can take a couple days off the gym.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 4:33 PM

PP funny!
"workout 6 hours a day and eat only carrots" that made me laugh - I would look like "the Machinist" but with a sickly orange hue - ha ha

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 5:29 PM

OMG! I'm a girl, i'm 5'9 and 130 lbs and everyone is like you're too skinny and you need to stop! I know how you feel! I don't seem too skinny to me!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008, 5:00 PM

OP... Check this guy out. He is 6 foot and 175. Does he look skinny to you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-bKxjYpsIU

Wednesday, April 02, 2008, 7:22 PM

Not skinny - that is what I am talkin' about !

-OP

Wednesday, April 02, 2008, 7:31 PM

My husband gets the same comments from his family. "You are so skinny/Too skinny." He's not. This is what he is supposed to look like. He's 6' tall and 160 lbs. He looks healthy. He's meant to be thin. He eats when he's hungry. He stops when he's full.

I think one of the previous posters is right. We, as a country, are so used to seeing people be overweight, that overweight now looks normal.

OP, if you are losing weight in a healthy and maintainable way, then more power to you! Let everyone who asks know that you are being healthy, and you would love their support.

Thursday, April 03, 2008, 9:58 AM

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