If you don't love your husband and you stay for financial reasons, are you any different than a call girl?

My friend and I were talking about this last night because another friend of ours has affairs and only stays with her husband because of her cushy life. What makes that different than having sex for money? Curious what you guys think.

Thu. Mar 27, 9:48am

Sounds like she's sold her soul for material things. Kinda sad. And cruel.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 10:07 AM

umm, one's legal and one's not.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 10:13 AM

There are lots of reasons to stay in a less then perfect marriage. She made commitments. However, cheating. I hope he catches her on video, divorces her and leaves her on the street. In my opinion she is worse then a call girl. She is a dishonest, deceitful, slut.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 10:38 AM

In a way it is worse because there is a violation of trust and commitment
She should stop doing what is deeply wrong open up and try to reconcile. Love is a verb, not just a feeling

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 10:51 AM

Does the husband know that she cheats? Maybe it's a little thing they have worked out between them. It makes a mockery of marriage, but it may be what they want.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 11:01 AM

i stay with my husband for financial reasons and that doesn't make me less of a person--let me explain. If we were divorced, we would be paying two mortgages, two health insurance premiums, traveling back and fourth to pick up two young children, etc. Our marriage is less than perfect and my hubby is controlling. Because we have young children, we want to ensure they have happy childhood without being shorted opportunities due to both of us not having money to afford things they need. It's not ideal, we don't fight, we don't argue, we get along like friends, but my heart is not in it any longer. However, i would NEVER have an affair because I wasn't happy. it's wrong.

She needs to check in her morals with herself and god and figure out what path of life she's going down.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 12:05 PM

misslizzi chimes in

Well, you never really know what goes on in relationships. They may have some sort of agreement between each other that you don't know about. He may be staying with her, knowing full well that she is having affairs, because of some other personal reasons. I think most spouses know when their other halves are having affairs; they just choose to look the other way one reason or another.

And really, if she's NOT having sex with her husband, then she is certainly no call girl!

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 12:11 PM

Honestly, as long as we still live in a culture where men are expected to pay on dates, we are all more or less call girls. So don't be the one to throw the first rock!

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 12:22 PM

wow PP - a guy codially treating a girl to dinner as a way to thank her for the pleasure of her company and the inconvienece of chatting with someone she doesn't know is quite a bit different than handing over cash for a different type of pleasure and inconvienece. I could not disagree more!

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 1:23 PM

I think it depends on whether or not the husband knows. If he does, then sadly enough, this is an understanding between husband and wife, so who are we to judge. If he doesn't know, then I would have to agree with the 10:51 poster. At least the callgirl-client relationship is understood...their investment in the relationship is just money, as compared to having a physical, psychological, emotional...and yes, financial invenstment that comes with a marital relationship.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 1:53 PM

holy crap - what a cynical bunch!
This is a disastrous situation in marriage that is just a big tragedy. Marriage shouldn't look like that at all but ought to be a loving "better than best friends" type of deal. That takes HARD work from both sides most of the time. In the many times when that is not going on it is not right, that is what marriage seminars, counseling, and bed and breakfasts are for. What is this oh well, that is the way it is garbage? All I am hearing is negative attitude. Marriage should be fantastic.

-a (married) guy

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 2:08 PM

1:23 (I am the PP you disagreed with..)

Yes, I admit: I exaggerated a bit. I didn't mean to imply that it is like that for the individual couple. What I meant to say is that our society is still build on the notion of "guy spends money, girl puts out." Not everybody might see it that way or act that way personally, but that doesn't mean that the notion doesn't exist or isn't wide-spread.

All I wanted to say is that I believe it is better to question the position of men and women in society rather than judging individual people publicly. I didn't want to offend you though, and if my wording was too harsh or polemical, I apologize! :)

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 2:11 PM

No offense taken.
I am a conservative "chevalier" so I don't like questioning roles. I like them how they have been since the beginning of time and don't think they can be improved upon, only correctly or incorrectly carried out how they naturally are. Now I am sure that probably offends everyone more than your comments, but there you have it.
Incidentally I think it is pretty funny that you mentioned throwing rocks since that Bible event was about a adulterous woman :)

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 2:36 PM

If you really think long and hard about it we all pay for sex, men and women, married and single, don't we? Married in the fact that we put up with things we don't really care to, and do things we don't really want that goes for both sides, its give and take. Singles because well, because...

Personally I am a married woman and I am of the belief that it is just not natural to be in a monogamous relationship. I for one find it sad to think of only being with and experiencing one man for the rest of my life, seems pretty boring to me. My husband thinks the same way.

Friday, March 28, 2008, 3:17 AM

Happy

I adore my Husband. I can't imagine anyone else touching me in a sexual way besides my Husband. We have been together for 10 years and we have slumps, but, I could never sleep with someone else as long as my husband is still breathing. I could not bear the thought of him being with someone else either. I know my heart would break. I could not bear for him to even suspect me of such a thing. The look that would be on his face, the destruction of trust. To me, if you can't control your libido, why get married at all? You are obviously not ready forthe commitment, and have no respect for the other people involved.
As far as men paying for dates. I don't know what happens on the dates you guys and gals go on, but, buying me something does not guarantee sex. Never has, never will. It will however guarantee a Thank you.

Friday, March 28, 2008, 5:19 PM

3:17 what are you thinking?
paying money for something and giving love back and forth are totally different in a million ways
Having fun with the same person isn't boring it is more fun since experience is the best teacher.

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