OT mother/daughter relationships

I am relunctant to post here, but I am having trouble finding an active forum on this topic. So I figured I'd try. Everyone has a mom, right?

I'm in my mid 20s, married, happy, doing fine. I live in the same town as my parents. They are both 60. My dad is still working (getting ready to retire) and my mom stays at home. Their house is isolated in the country, which she has never liked, and she spends all day alone listening to talk radio and puttering around taking care of their many pets and cleaning/reading/whathaveyou.

She uses the pets as an excuse to never leave the house for more than grocery shopping or dinner out with family. She has no friends that live nearby. She is obviously lonely and sad because every time I talk to her she ends up reminiscing about the distant past (which I can't relate or contribute to), or she will literally sit on the phone and relay to me exactly what cute things the pets are doing. Or she'll go on about her political convicitions (which I don't agree with for the most part and she won't have a reasonable discussion about them).

I do make efforts to call her or plan an occasional mom/daughter excursion but it is really wearing on me that I'm her only link to the world besides my dad. I have tried to cajole/encourage/force her into taking art classes, or joining a club of some kind but she is just really not comfortable in 'contrived' social situations.

So, she's alone all day, not social, nostalgic and political to a fault, and she relies on me for almost all her social interaction. It is driving me crazy.

I don't know what I want anyone to say, because I don't know that there is a solution to this other than to just remember that she's been a great mom to me and that I should be patient with her and supportive of her. I just wish that she would find a hobby she loves or a couple fun friends her age, or something.

If anyone else has a 'mom drives me crazy' story, I would love to hear it. For ideas that worked for you, or just to know that I'm not the only one dealing with something like this.

She and I used to be close and I miss feeling that way about her.

Tue. Sep 15, 3:48pm

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