When your good friends are 'dirtier' than you...

My husband and I's closest friends are another couple with several young kids. We've been friends for years and years, and get together on average once a week. Our families are similar in many ways- husbands work (each make about the same amount of money), wives stay home to care for the kids, both have young kids, the husbands have similar interests, and the wives have similar interests.

But we are quite different in the way we each keep our houses. My husband and I have been doing serious remodeling on our home for years and work hard to keep it nice. I keep it pretty clean and try to keep up with the clutter. I'm not perfect and my house can become a disaster sometimes, but when we have them over, I make sure the house is picked up and clean. I make sure the bathroom is presentable and clean. I make sure the carpet is vacuumed and the floors are swept and relatively clean, because we both have toddlers and infants who are playing/crawling on the floors.

Their house is very run down, and I don't just mean outdated. My friend does a pretty good job with the general clutter, picking up, dishes, and laundry. My issue is that she does not keep her house 'clean'. She doesn't like to clean and admits it. She cleans her bathroom once every month or two. She sweeps her floor sometimes. She mops her wood floors a couple of times a year. Their house gets very, very dirty from the daily tracking in and out of the house (in the country) from the dirt and mud on boots (worn all over the house). The kids play a lot outside and get pretty dirty. When they come in and use the bathroom, they track all over and leave a lot of dirt and grime in the bathroom, which stays there for weeks! This is the condition of the house when we are invited over.

In the past, when we've had them over, I might excuse myself to the bathroom explaining I hadn't had a chance to clean it up yet. Or I might sweep the floor while we visit if we'd had them over on short notice, especially if we've got crawling infants at that time. Or, when she was pregnant and feeling nauseated, I'd tell her that I cleaned the bathroom stool with her in mind :) . In the years that we've been friends, the inserts into our conversations that I make like this are pretty few. But I don't hide the fact that I think it's important to clean your house. I don't keep my house perfectly clean, and sometimes I use that to say something to her like 'Oh man, I think it's been a month since I actually got out the mop!'

I've actually cleaned her bathroom stool and sink several times without her knowledge. And I've swept her floor too, when I have a little one who thinks they need to eat everything off the floor.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas for me, that won't be damaging to the friendship. This woman is my friend and I plan to keep it that way. :)

Mon. Apr 19, 2:15pm

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