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OT Very difficult time

When I was 7 weeks pregnant, my sister died, at age 39 of ovarian cancer. She had been diagnosed one year before she passed away, but we thought she may be able to beat it.

At 21 week pregnant, I experienced a "still birth". Apparently I have a weak cervix.

I am very overwhelmed by these life experiences. I have quit my job to take time for me.

Here I am - trying to lose pregnancy weight, with no baby.

Where do I go from here? I feel like a lost cause....

Sun. Mar 2, 11:43pm

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Therapy? I haven't experienced what you've gone through, but I have had anxiety/depression for most of my life. Therapy has definitely changed my life (of course I still have episodes of anxiety but it's a lot less) so that's something I'd recommend. Good luck.

Monday, March 03, 2008, 12:21 AM

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So sorry to hear about the losses you've had. Of course you must fell overwhelmed right now, you have lots to grieve about. You are NOT a lost cause. You are already moving in the right direction by looking after yourself, that is really important to do. Talk to people about things. If you don't have anyone close there find a support group. Things do get better even if you can't see it right now.


Monday, March 03, 2008, 1:14 AM

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I agree with the therapist idea. They are very good at helping you get through tough times and helping talk you through the rough patches...

I saw a therapist when my best friend died from complications of a heart transplant at age 18. I didn't think I'd get over it..EVER...but with the help of the therapist I was able to feel better just took time.

GOOD LUCK!!! I hope you the best!

Monday, March 03, 2008, 1:18 AM

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I can't even imagine the overwhelming grief you are experiencing over these losses. I am truly sorry and wish I could just reach out and hug you. I think the thing for you to do is talk, talk, talk about all of it. You could try therapy or a support group might be really helpful, it may make you feel a connection with someone else who has experienced something similar, which could be really helpful. Or you can do what your doing but I have a strong feeling you would really benefit from a support group. Are you married and getting any support from your husband? Are you talking to your family? Sometimes talking about things are easier when you talk to strangers, you tend to be more honest and open about the rawness and pain of it all. I wish you tons of luck.

Monday, March 03, 2008, 2:03 AM

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These are overwhelming losses and you should be grieving. What you have experienced, losing a sister and a baby are things you will never get over, but with time you will be able to deal with them and to feel less grief. Time and talking really does help. Find a support group, a local one that deals with the kind of losses you have experienced, not an on line group. You need to connect with others who have gone through similar situations. Your feeling exactly what you should be feeling but with time and support it will be easier to deal with and less painful to remember. My heart goes out to you.

Monday, March 03, 2008, 2:11 AM

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I am so sorry

I can't imagine the pain you are going through...I did not lose a sister but I have had three miscarriages in the last year and I have lost a fiance before...the best support I found for my pregnancies and subsequent miscarriages (I have never carried to term) I have found is a website called you can make your own page there and speak with others who are goin through the same thing...

THe best thing you can do fior yourself is to take time to grieve...getting healthy is a good start but first settle with your process of grieiving..therapy is a great idea and doesn't have to be costly. THere are many cancer victim support groups, contact the cancer society in your town and there are many dealing with child losses groups also..hospitals should have a list..

Know that you are not alone and whatever your feelings are ..those are the right feelings because they are your feelings...when I lost my fiance years agao the best advice I got was greive how you want, cry, laugh, scream. Whatever process you go through is your process and no one elses...that was the best advance. I didn't have to feel guilty for Joy or sorrow...

Again, I am sorry...

Monday, March 03, 2008, 7:06 AM

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The first thing you do is schedule an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist in your area. This will help with the medical portion of your situation.

The second thing you need to do is look for a book (and I can't remember what it's called) about the loss of a baby. There are so many of them out there that we recommend to our infertility patients.

You are not alone in your battle to achieve a pregnancy, you need to find support groups in your area. has wonderful resources..

Good luck to you and celebrate your sister and your babies life, however short the time you had.

Monday, March 03, 2008, 1:56 PM

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I am sorry

You have been through a lot, best wishes.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 12:04 PM

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