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I just want to eat what I want and not have to think about it !!!!!!

The other day I had an emotional breakdown, my husband was having something delicious for lunch and all I want was some too , but were talking high fat, high sodium ,crap food. It made me so upset that i litteraly cried in the bathroom over it which i know was stupid but i guess i just felt like i just wanted to eat what i wanted, I told myself that i could make me something delicious at home that was healthy but it didnt work, my stomach was knawing for some thing bad. But I resisted so i guess i did good.Trouble is I have been feeling this alot lately, and I havent been restricting myself from anything good, i have cheat foods and meals at least once a week and i have lost the weight i want and am maintaining. I work out 6 days a week cardio and weight train moderatley 4-5 x wk and have a physical labor job. I have the healthy food down pat its just my mind just wants to eat what it wants and not have to worry about cals and fats and all that jazz. Is this crazy??? I really would like to be able to say yeah i'll have one too when i want to, would this kill all my progress if i just ate what i wanted and tried to keep it healthy? This has made me really depressed cause i guess food is a comfort for me and i like the way i look so i dont want to screw that up!! What would happen if i ate what ever i wanted and made sure i didnt go over my cals? would the excess fats just layer over my muscles and cover up my sucess? Has anyone felts this or just tried eating what they wanted and did your body change? I may sound crazy or something, and i may be venting a little here, but when i cried over food it was a real eye opener to me, it was like why am i crying am i just a big child or what?

Fri. Feb 29, 7:23pm

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I don't know what diet you're doing, but it's clearly too restrictive if you're having such a disproportionate overreaction.

Friday, February 29, 2008, 8:37 PM

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Even though you have lost the weight, do you think you still may be addicted to food? You are not crazy. It may just be that you have not yet broken a physical/psychological addiction to food. I totally feel for you, OP. Did your husband's "delicious" meal have cheese on it? It may help for you to google "why is dairy so addictive?".
You are not alone!

Friday, February 29, 2008, 8:41 PM

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I think you have an underlying issue here. Or you are not eating enough maybe.

Friday, February 29, 2008, 8:46 PM

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I don't think you necessarily have a huge emotional disorder (although I'm not a doctor so don't take it too much to heart!), and I don't think you are necessarily not eating enough either. I also don't think you're the only one on PT to feel this way. If you're anything like me, you've been eating badly for a lot of years, eating whatever you want, even if it makes you sick and unhealthy. And everyone around you is doing the same thing and making excuses for it. Now that you've totally changed your way of eating, it's hard not to rely on food for what you used to use it for - comfort, boredom relief, social connections, whatever. I too had evenings where I just wanted to binge, and I too had evenings where I cried because I just found it hard to not have what I wanted. Luckily my husband totally supported me through it, and after 8 months of this new lifestyle change, it's a lot easier. I now want to be thin and healthy more than I want whatever junk it is I used to want. It helps that I feel so much better eating healthy than eating junk! And I'm just starting to get to the point where I can have a little bit of a treat, without eating too much of it. But that has been a long time coming. Losing weight, if you're doing it properly, isn't just about changing what you eat. It's about changing your thoughts about food, about why you eat and what food really does for you.

So to answer your real question, OP, you're not a big baby for crying over this. You're grieving over the loss of a lifestyle you are used to, because change is really, really hard. But the change will be worth it. Stick with it!

Friday, February 29, 2008, 9:19 PM

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I don't think it's crazy at all. Several years ago I was doing the same thing and being very restrictive with myself. It worked as far as weight loss went, but I became so resentful that I eventually just chucked it all, which was really the wrong response (for me).

What if you were to allow yourself one day every other week where you ate whatever you wanted but didn't go over your calorie limit like you suggest? The other days do it like you are used to. That way you give yourself a break but also stick to what's been working for you most of the time. Then see how that works and re-evaluate in a couple of months.

Saturday, March 01, 2008, 10:38 AM

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OP, don't be so hard on yourself -- a LOT of people have felt that way. I have a friend who is model-thin (size 0 - 2) who never has to think about what goes in her mouth and she never gains an ounce. It seemed so unfair to me, and I wanted the same thing you do - eat what I want, when I want and not think about it. I was finally able to conquer it by "allowing" myself to have just that. I found that the discord had always been me telling myself that I CAN NOT, MUST NOT have this or that. Once I convinced myself that I had the power to choose and COULD have whatever I wanted, I found that most of the time what I wanted was the healthy choice. The next hurdle was convincing myself that one brownie was better than the whole pan when I did choose to have something "decadent". I have just given myself "permission" to eat whatever I want. That "permission" actually helps me feel good about the choices I make and keeps ME in control of the food, and not vice-versa. Have you read The Beck Diet Solution? It might help you. There is a link here on PT with a synopsis. And, like the other poster said, you are not alone.

Saturday, March 01, 2008, 11:39 AM

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I second Beck Diet Solution. Changes in the mindset takes away much of the inner turmoil we deal with when making changes.

Saturday, March 01, 2008, 7:30 PM

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wow I know exactly how you feel! Its hard watching what you eating and limiting your intake of sweet food. Our bodies evolved to seek out high sugar and fat foods so we could store the extra resources. Unfortunatly (or fortunatly) we now live in an enviroment where we don't need to go out and hunt and scavenge for food most of our days are fairly inactive unless we make an effort to walk and work out. You say you eat very healthy, but is the food satisfying? I can't force myself to eat a bag of raw califlower because it simply tastes gross. Maybe look into some new low cal recipies. I really like stir fries with out the added oil, instead simmer your veggies and meat/tofu in vegatable broth and add a shake of chilis or curry. It will give you a great flavor without the calories. Good luck!

Saturday, March 01, 2008, 7:42 PM

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OP- You are definitely not alone. I've lost 40 lbs and have been maintaining for over 2 years. I eat very healthy and workout about 5 times a week. But sometimes I feel like you and just want to not worry about what I'm eating. I really feel like I have completely changed the way I eat. Like I don't really remember what I used to eat. I will tell you though, if you do give in, you may not even enjoy it. I got a Burger King fish sandwich and fries a couple weekends ago (Used to be a favorite) and I couldn't even finish it. It seemed so salty and the grease just went right to my gut and sat there. I also feel like I know how to eat adn how to work out. So, if I do splurge too much and put on a few pounds I know how to get it off. I know I will never go back to the weight I was. You'll be OK! You are not alone. And I don't think you have any psychological, deep-rooted problem.

Saturday, March 01, 2008, 8:13 PM

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I do Beck Diet Solution & I love it, you are doing great exercise wise, but yes, you need to look at your diet, maybe you cut too many things out of your diet.

Saturday, March 01, 2008, 8:35 PM

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To answer the OP's question - if you eat whatever you want but don't go over your calorie limit, you will not gain back the weight. The important part of that is not going over your calorie limit.

You'll also find that if you indulge in bad-for-you foods, you may be hungry a lot more, b/c you eat up your calorie allotment much faster. But sometimes, those heavy things keep you full way longer, so you won't be as hungry.

The fatty foods are good at keeping you full. Eating fat doesn't mean the body turns it to fat. The body turns carbs to fat much more easily, actually.

I've never ruled out "fattening" foods or "unhealthy" foods, but rather, I've limited my calories. I've lost weight and have been maintaining for over a year. You can definitely do it. You just have to pick and choose what you're eating.

For example, I can eat a cheeseburger, but I generally skip the bun (up to 200 calories that I don't miss.) I'd rather have a beef patty with cheese, no bun, than a turkey sandwich on wheat, and it keeps me full longer too, for a similar amount of calories really (depending on size, etc.) This morning, I ate 1 slice of deep dish pizza that was left over for breakfast. So I'll have a smaller-than-usual lunch. But, I'm also not nearly as hungry for lunch as I would've been if I'd had my "normal" breakfast.

You still cannot eat whatever you want, in whatever quantity that you want. But, you can eat whatever you want.

Best of luck!

Monday, March 03, 2008, 12:15 PM

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I've felt this way too. My spouse can "think" about losing weight and lose it and get hard abs the whole bit. But life isn't fair. We're all different and I've stopped comparing my eating to his.
One thing I've found that helps me - may sound funny but mooching. I know if I ordered fries or something bad I'd eat all of them. But if I"m out at a restaurant and I know a friend or my spouse is getting fries I get a salad myself (or something healthy) and then have a couple of bites of his fries. It seems to work for me I get a taste but because they aren't mine manners prevents me from eating enough to ruin my plan.
It's been working for me lately. makes me feel like I get the best of both worlds.
I try to remember the plus side of being how I am is I eat a lot healthier than a lot of naturally skinny people I know so good for cancer and heart disease risk and all that.

Monday, March 03, 2008, 10:20 PM

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