Am I just really silly?

I've been dieting for a good year now and I lost over 50 lb. My current BMI is 21.9, which is not too bad, really. My dieting was always controlled and healthy, between 1200-1500 calories a day (1500 is more recent).

It's just that I cannot stop dieting. It has become an addiction, and I am totally obsessed with it. And the more stress I have in my life (such as upcoming PhD exams), the more I bury myself in my diet. In the beginning of the year, I gave myself a new goal weight to reach by April 1st, and I have already reached it. I feel like I should just starting to maintain for a while, but I just cannot stop dieting.

I think the only thing that keeps me from developing a "real" eating disorder is the fact that I suffered from both anorexia and bulimia throughout my teenage years... I feel like right now, I am in a similar psychological pattern while avoiding the health risks.

So this may not seem to be a really serious problem because my health is not at stake, but I still feel like it's a problem over which I have no control anymore. And I am scared what happens if I suddenly stop losing weight... and I am similarly scared what happens if I just keep losing.

I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it, but he just ignores it completely. I am not sure if the reason is that he doesn't take it seriously, or that he just doesn't know what to do, but the fact that he seem utterly disinterested makes it so much worse for me. At times I even feel like I have to "prove" that it IS serious.

Or maybe I am just being a drama queen.

Sun. Jan 27, 7:24pm

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