I have issues...

I just had a baby about 5 weeks ago, my second child. I had gained about 40 lbs and currently am at 160 and want to get back to 120, or as close to it as possible.
The problem? I am so impatient! I have thought about giving up breastfeeding so that I can take supplements to aid in my weight loss. Yes, I know, you lose weight by breastfeeding, but it's so gradual and I want the weight off now.
I am so super self conscious about my weight and how I look and feel. To make matters worse, my husband is literally disgusted by overweight people. Yes, he is that shallow and superficial, at least he can admit it and I knew that about him when I met him...regardless, I love him the way he is. I just can't help thinking that he is grossed out and/or disappointed in how I look.
Today I went to his office and saw his new assistant and she was thin and attractive and younger than me. I can't help the racing thoughts going through me head. He didn't even introduce me to her, which of course I can't stop reading into that either!
I hate feeling this way. Before kids, I was HOT, smoking HOT! LOL! And I so want to be THAT girl again. I know it's so superficial to me, but I love to look and feel my best and right now I just don't.
Can someone smack me???
How do I get over my insecurities so that I don't damage my relationship with my husband. How much of my "issues" should I share with him? I usually tell him everything, but I really feel crazy right now. I wish I could snap my fingers, whip into shape and be like POW! who's HOT now?
Maybe I don't need help...just venting kind of released some steam :o)

Tue. Oct 7, 9:47pm

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