OT - Please help! Destructive step-son is driving me crazy.

I know this is very off topic, but I have to get this off my chest because I feel as if I'm losing it. My 20 year old youngest SS (step-son) has a drug and drinking problem, and no matter what we do, he just doesn't listen. I have three step-sons, and I have gone through the same phase with all of them, but now that we are on the last one, I just don't think I can take it. He got into a very bad drunk driving accident a couple of months ago where he broke his leg and totaled his truck. Of course he went through every epiphany imaginable - that he wasn't going to drink anymore, that he was going to change, blah, blah, blah. He has just been released from the doctor to go back to work, and here we are already. It is 1 a.m. in the morning and he's not home. All three boys have lived with us off and on over the years, going back and forth between here and their mom's house every time they didn't like whatever current situation they were in. If the rules got too strict here, then they would run back to Mom's where she would let them run wild, until they got into trouble of course, so back they would come. The worst part is that his father, my husband is the worst kind of enabler. He desperately loves his sons, which I don't blame him for, but he does not know how to say no. I begged him not to give SS the keys to his truck once he started getting better, but he didn't listen. I told him that he wasn't going to learn if there were never any consequences, which there never are. Why on earth would you give your son the keys to your truck when he doesn't have his own truck because he wrecked it while he was drunk? It makes no sense. This same SS makes about 2000 dollars a month and has one insurance bill of $50, a cell phone bill of $100, I make him go out and buy soap and a few things, the rest of the money? He never has any, but he's got 4 pairs of $200 dollar shoes and about twelve $50 dollar caps. This same SS got checks from his work's insurance and the auto insurance, and do you think he used any of that money to pay ANY of his piled up medical bills? So he makes 500 a week, but uses his dad's truck to go out and party while his crazy father just sits back blindly trying to "trust" him.

How much sacrifice does one person have to make? I gave up having children of my own to help raise these three boys who have basically made my life hell for the last 12 years. The other two, although finally out on their own, basically because they made life so difficult for everyone that no one would take them in anymore, haven't really made anything of themselves other than babies with girls that they are changing out every month. I know I only have a couple of years left before he gets out on his own, but I just can't do it anymore. It has made the problems that his father and I already have as a couple worse, and just picture a whole other TV show drama on the problems between hubby and I. I have almost zero feeling left for either one of them, and some times just want to pack all my stuff and leave them both to their own destruction. Hell, sometimes I want to take all of their stuff and put it out on the curb. But did I mention that the father also "had" a drinking problem in the past, and my greatest fear is that my leaving would push him over the edge, and he would fall back into drinking too? But my compassion is all but dried up. What do I do? Nothing ever changes except the day, date, and year. Nothing. Here lately, I have zero drive to take care of myself. I find myself just wanting to grab a dish or a picture and throwing it because I've got so much built up resentment. So how do you like that - the drunken son, the enabler father, and the screaming resentful stepmom.

So here I sit while husband is out driving around looking for his son. I am worried that when he finds him, then they'll both come home and the scream fest will begin. It will begin between me and SS because his father and I already had ours before he left, where I just reamed him over and over again for doing the same thing over and over again. I am worried that he won't find him, and that the worst will happen. Why are we the ones who have to go through this emotional turmoil while the SS is just off looking for his next trouble to get into? It is so unfair of him to do this.

If there are any of you out there who have gone through this I would appreciate your input. Thanks for allowing me to vent my frustrations here.

Wed. Feb 11, 2:23am

Related Content: How To Lose Weight- The Basics Weight Watchers Points System The Fat Smash Diet The Eat To Live Diet The Beck Diet Solution How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight		How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer How To Burn Fat Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight? Tips On Using PEERtrainer Visit The PEERtrainer Community Diet and Fitness Resources
Fitness Weight Watchers Meetings Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are Writing Down Your Daily Workouts Spending Money On A Personal Trainer? How I Became A Marathon Runner		Preventive Health How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot? Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer? Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy Reversing Disease Through Nutrition
New Diet and Fitness Articles: Weight Watchers Points Plus How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program		Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne: Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough How To Delay Short Term Gratification How To Stay Motivated How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule
Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight? Are Protein Drinks Safe? Nutrition As Medicine?		Everyday Weight Loss Tips How To Eat Healthy At A Party How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight The Three Bite Rule Tips On How To Stop A Binge