Constantly giving and rarely receiving

Okay so where to begin. I'm a good person and I'm constantly giving to people...doing favors, being there emotionally and physically, giving advice, doing what I can to help people out. It's basically the type of person I am. I'm even that way to people who don't even deserve it...I mean to people who treat me poorly. BUT, it frustrates me that often times, I don't even get back close to what I give. Like not even a thank you...or "How are things going with you" (to those people I give advice to)....or whatever. To make things worse, I treat myself horribly compared to the way I do with others. I've been using food for much of my life to give me comfort...sort of like a replacement for a friend (because unfortunately, pretty much all of the "friends" I've made over the years have hurt or betrayed me)..and well, in high school that's when the side effects of overeating have shown. I just can't seem to get out of this rut. I'm graduating in college in June and I'd like to be able to look at my college grad pics and not be disgusted. I don't even have a lot to lose- 20 pounds (I'm short so it shows). Don't think I don't exercise, I do at least 4 times per week...I feel like I've become a bit of an athlete the past few years. And don't think I don't eat healthy, because I understand nutrition very well. I just can't get past this emotional eating. I don't know what it is. I just have these constant urges to overeat/binge...and of course I give in. Anyway, I feel like my issues with food and what I just described tie in. I hate have this extra weight on me...it makes me so uncomfortable both physically and mentally. And I don't know..maybe secretly I don't believe I deserve that I should have a good life and take care of myself. I don't know what I'm really asking here for...maybe to spill what I feel...maybe some words of inspiration to those who have dealt and combated the same stuff...I don't know...I just feel lost.

Thu. Mar 5, 1:06am

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