OT - Bingeing saved my life

When I was in high school I was going through a really rough time (as I know a lot of people do). Things escalated and one night I couldn't deal anymore. I turned to food first...ate an entire block of velveeta cheese w/ salsa and a bag of tostitos...but that didn't help. So, the next best solution I could come up with at the time was to take every single pill we had in our house. Everything from every medicine cabinet and a drawer we had for cold medicine and things. That was 11 years ago tomorrow.

I'm a completely different person now and I'm so much stronger than I ever thought possible. The last year has been absolutely awful but I haven't been anywhere near like I was then. Even so, this anniversary always exhausts me emotionally. I'm still struggling with using food as a crutch, but if I hadn't binged that night I would have at the very least had permanent damage. I feel so very sorry for myself from then, she was hurting so much and I wish I could go back and give her a hug and tell her everything would be alright.

I took the day off of work tomorrow and I'm having breakfast with a friend, spending the afternoon at a day spa, and having dinner with friends. I try to treat this day as a celebration of life and surround myself with good things.

I know lots of people have had similar experiences and I'd just like to say that if you've made it through like I have, I'm so very proud of you. If you're still fighting to get out of the darkness then I'd like to tell you that it definitely gets better and easier and you need to seek professional help, if you haven't already.

Whether you can empathize or not, I think we should all take a minute to tell our selves we love us and we forgive us.

Sun. Feb 3, 4:47pm

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