Help! OHHH the GUILT

I am 5'5 103lbs and underweight, recently i have chucked all my healthy habits to the curb and just have been doing what i wanted. Not working out not eating right just living. I am trying to gain weight but a part of me feels guilty for not working out and eating whatever i want. and part of me feels really happy and myself again .I dont know how i got to this point. I havent had my cycle in 3 mths, so i feel as though i need to get this under control. I am trying to fix this on my own, and i feel as though i need to get this out , i am obsessed with food, i am constantly planning what i am going to eat, its like i am crazy. I dont know maybe its because i am underweight. Do you think i should continue to exercise or should i just stop completly till i get back to a normal weight? I really need some advice cause i am cracking up i feel like and i just want to be myself again. I have also recently noticed that if i eat a carb rich meal i will feel almost like a high after i have finished eating and i dont like it, its like i drank 10 cups of coffee or something and my heart races, it is so weird. Also I think i am having problems with my blood sugar or something cause there are times when i will get really angry if i dont get something sugary. I guess i have really screwed myself up. has anyone out there experienced this? I havent seemed to gain any weight even though i have been overeating like everyday for 2 weeks now, I used to eat 1800 cals day but know sometimes i dont even count calories and i know i am eating at least 2000-2500 per day. I have to admit i am scared to gain. I guess i really like being skinny, but i just cant maintain this weight and i feel like i am dying. Its like something has clicked and my body has told me alright thats enough, lets get real and get back to normal. So i have been just eating, but i feel guilt ridden inside and disgusted with myself. Plz any advice on what i should do would be appreciated!! Especially on the exercise because i think i should stop for awhile but i dont know if it will just ruin all my muscles and endurance.

Wed. May 28, 10:11pm

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