Feeling unappreciated.

I have been married for 19 years and have 2 kids. My husband has never helped much in the house and this has always been a cause for arguments. Things have got much worse over the last 6 months, and we rarely have sex these days (I dont want to - the last time was before Christmas). I think this is because our relationship has so many problems, he says we have problems because we don't have sex. My oldest child has diabetes, my youngest severe eczema and anaphylaxis, and I am responsible for all their care. I ask for help all the time, but because I only work part time, and he works full time, he thinks I am being unreasonable in asking him.
He recently put on about a stone, and since Christmas has been going to exercise classes twice a week. Yesterday, he announced that he was going to go to the gym every day after work (he works from 2 am to about 11.00 am, has something to eat then goes to bed til about 5.00 pm, gets up when his evening meal is ready, then watches tv until about `10.00 then goes back to bed). This means that he will go to bed later in the afternoon, get up later, so won't eat with us, and will be around even less - he rarely spends any time with the kids as it is. When I said I thought this wasn't very fair, he said I was being unreasonable. When I asked when I would get some "me time" he said that i have all day when the kids are at school (i work three of these days, the other two I do shopping and housework). For the last two weeks I have had to get up every 2 hours to test my daughters blood, but I have still had to go to work, do all the household chores and childcare, and he hasn't once offered to help, or let me sleep while he cooks or looks after the kids.

Am I being unreasonable, I just feel so unappreciated, and taken for granted. I have tried to talk to him and tell him how unhappy I am, so much so that i have thought about divorce, but he won't even turn off the tv to talk to me. he has said he will try harder if I agree to have more sex with him, but he tries for about 2-3 days, and if I haven't had sex after that time (regardless of whether I am shattered) he says I haven't kept up my end of the bargain, and packs in.

Any advice please?

Thu. Jan 22, 3:21pm

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