Help! My 12 year old daughter is overweight

My daughter is only 4'11" and is now weighing 146 lbs. Even though she is active - cheerleading, basketball team, open gym @ YMCA 2-3 times / week , gym class 5 days a week last 9 week period @ school - she is still putting on weight. (She weighted 138 in the fall after cheer season ended, and I was concerned!) So she's put on 8 lbs since Nov. I get mixed advice - her pediatrician says no to be alarmed, a girls bmi should not be considered until after she starts her period. (Which she hasn't.) Some others have said that with middle school and boys, she will figure it out herself and start "dieting" or whatever. I am afraid then she will fall under pressure from friends and start starving herself or fall deeper into eating her feelings. She doesn't eat any more than kids her age do - believe me, I have paid attention! But that's when I see her. She has a lot of friends and "boyfriends" but the fat issue always arises when the boys "break up " with her. She either feels that's why they "break up" with her or because she's heard that's why from friends. I know it's jr. high and these kids change boyfreinds and girlfriends like socks, but I remember how that felt, and I remember the pain well, and as she's lightheartedly laughing it off as she tells me , " he said I was fat - whatever!" it's killing me and I know it hurts her just as bad.

I talked to her on Sun. and told her that WE - her and myself - were going to have to start being responsible for what we eat. I told her that it was her increasing weight gain every month in spite of her activity that was concerning me - NOT how she looked, NOT what friends @ school thought or said. I want her to be concerned too because she is doing a lot socially with friends and is out of my eye. She can tell me she got a bottle of water at the dance but really had 2 Mt. Dews. She can telll me she has a good lunch in the cafeteria but can eat pizza and fries everyday. I've been packing her lunch for 2 days now (turkey sanwich, whole grain bread, celery, grapes) and have told her she needs to do her part by eating healthier because this weight gain every month is a wake up call. I told her we could encounter problems in the future if it continues - I DID NOT tell her we have a problem now. She told me after we talked that she knows she doesn't eat what she shoulld, she just doesn't want to hear about it and gave me a big hug. It's hrd to not eat as much and what kinds of food your thin friends do.

I am a SAH mom and can honestly say we have very limited junk food here. We do not have pop, juice, etc. we have water and skim milk. We have baked chips when we have them and push fruit/veggie snacks - which she doesn't want to eat.

I was overweight when I was younger, teased and had but a few friends. I wished my mom showed more concern for me and did more than tell me to suck my stomach in. I think if she would have been I wouldn't have turned to friends with Dexatrim and Vivarin to keep weight off in high school.

I just want my girl to know it's not about image, but health. They go hand in hand though. Eating healthy with junk food in moderation and being physically active leads to feeling better and having a better overall self image - no matter what size is her healthy size. That's why I'm buckling down more now. Not because I'm talking DIET.

Ok, I've wrote an entire book. Any stories, ideas or advice is appreciated!

Tue. Mar 3, 1:22pm

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