My husband is a problem

I know this is horrible to say. But my husband makes it really difficult for me to lose weight, especially exercise. He is overweight, too, and he is always telling me that he likes me a little more plump. But recently he admitted that it just makes him look better, that he's not the only one overweight.

Here's my problem, he is very insecure and gets very sarcastic when I am too busy for him. He expects me to make all the meals, keep the house tidy, laundry done, and spend "quality time" with him, which is in front of the TV. Plus I work a full time job and we have 3 busy kids in activities year round. I am finding out the longer I am married to him, the less I like his interests and I know there is no way I can get him to try what I like to do. Don't get me wrong, I truly love him, but I get very tired of him being so needy. I feel I have to constantly reassure him by giving him attention the whole time I am home. If I don't spend time with him in the evenings because I'm doing household chores or I'm outside getting some fresh air by weeding and walking and exercising, I get the "nice talkin' to ya" comment when he goes to bed. He is a farmer and is outside most days. I work inside and need to be outside and active to feel better. It helps my moods and is great for depression/anxiety. I am stressed out right now by this overwhelming attitude towards him. But I'm too afraid to talk to him because it will make him feel horrible and even more insecure. I believe this is the root of my weight gain-I am turning to comfort food because I'm not in a happy place right now. I also am a closet eater...I wait till he's gone to eat tons of food. I want my kids to experience lots of outdoor activities like biking, hiking, etc. but he is outside all day and the last thing he wants to do at the end of the day or on weekends is to be outside. He wants to do what he wants, not what would be good for the kids/family. I think he's being selfish. Even when it comes to watching TV programs. We have a 6 year old, but he thinks it's OK to watch tv with foul language and sexual conotations. I did tell him, that I know he likes to unwind after the day, but we still need to be parents. We have basically the same parenting beliefs, but there are a few things I would like to change. Especially how much the kids watch tv. I don't want our kids to grow up couch potatoes, I want them to have active lives. Otherwise they will be overweight some day, too. Don't even get me started on the food issues we have. Sorry for all the venting, but does anyone have any suggestions? I'm afraid I will not be able to lose weight until I deal with these feelings.

Fri. Aug 28, 10:45pm

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