Obese Spouse: How to help without sounding insensitive?

Well, to first get a few things straight, the reason why I want to help him is because of health reasons. He's beyond just a little overweight or a little husky. He no longer can wear clothes from a regular department store unless they have a big and tall section. He can't even walk outside for very long without his hands swelling up and we have to stop and sit a while before he can continue. His doctor is worried about all this health stats (BP, Cholesterol, etc) and he's got other medical issues on top of those.

Every time I bring up his weight or make him a healthy meal he just gets so mad at me like I'm trying to change who he is or make him anorexic or something. I don't mind him being on the heavy side. When I met him, he did have a belly and he was still in the overweight category but he could still do everyday things without getting winded and he didn't have a forseeable heart attack around the next corner. He thinks he's just big boned or something and that's the way he is. Yes, He is big-boned so I do think that he's meant to be heavier than other guys his age and height but he does undoubtedly have extra weight that is causing him problems. From what I understand from his mom, junk food has always been an ok thing with her. His mom always had a "life is short, so eat what you want" kind of attitude but that's because she was anorexic as a teen in order to be a model. Large is considered normal in their family. Even when I met his mom, she commented on how skinny I was even though at the time even though my BMI was barely considered normal and not overweight.

I just feel like the bad guy here but I do these things because I am worried about him. I don't want him skinny or super muscle-y toned just out of that zone of having heart attacks and other weight-related issues looming over his head all the time.

Fri. Sep 11, 6:06pm

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