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Roberta's Reflections: Musings of a Psychotherapist
A PEERtrainer Series on The Psychology of Weight Loss and Health
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By Roberta Temes, PhD
Three kids live in the same family. They have the same mom and dad and attend the same school. They are siblings and all were born with good bodies and good minds. They do well in school and in sports. They were all home the day of the fire. The fire was electrical. It rapidly spread throughout the house and it destroyed everything. Thankfully, all family members escaped with no injury.
The three kids moved with their parents to a hotel and called that home for almost a year. Finally, the house was rebuilt and they all moved back in. That's when I heard from them. Two of the children were just fine and quickly settled back into their regular routines. But Ben was having trouble. He was afraid to sleep alone in his room. He lost his appetite once they left the hotel, and hadnt yet regained it. Ben was suffering. He had anxiety all day long at school. He pleaded with his parents to sell the house and buy a new one.
Why is it that one family member cannot adjust to a trauma and everyone else in the family quickly gets over it? Scientists are looking for a resilience gene. Researchers know that some people remain psychologically healthy no matter the traumas that befall them. Other people, with similar backgrounds and situations, may have great difficulty coping. Resilience is the ability to endure stress and bounce right back.
Ben was short on resilience. He was unable to bounce back by himself and required several sessions of talk therapy where he was taught self-calming techniques. Fortunately his parents quickly took him for help. Sometimes I see kids, and adults, too, who tried to soothe themselves after a trauma by smoking, eating, drinking, or drugging. Those substances sometimes work at calming but their side effects are horrendous. Self-soothing with food, alcohol, cigarettes or illegal drugs usually causes more harm than did the original situation.
There are some techniques that are quite effective at neutralizing memories so that a trauma need not have a lasting imprint. The technique I like best is a form of acupressure which involves tapping on particular parts of your body. I'll tell you more about it next time. If this technique, and others similar to it, were taught in school perhaps substance abuse and emotional eating would be less. Why are self-soothing techniques not more known? Maybe its because scientists have not yet figured out precisely how they work. But, since we do know that they work shouldnt they be used? What do you think?
Roberta Temes Article Archive:
Click Here To Read How Roberta Can Help You Eliminate the Psychological Barriers
Keeping You from Following Your Diet. Her program comes with an iron-clad 1 YEAR no questions asked money back guarantee and it's easy to order. If you like Roberta's writing style, you'll probably like her approach to helping you lose weight!
About the Author
Roberta Temes, (pronounced Temmis), Ph.D. is Clinical Assistant Professor,
Department of Psychiatry, at Downstate Medical School, New York City.
She had a private practice in New York City in psychotherapy, coaching, and
medical hypnosis for 30 years, and has now relocated that practice to Westfield, NJ.
Temes is the author of many self-help books and psychology books, as well as
the first medical school textbook about hypnosis. She is also the author of
the best-selling book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hypnosis. Her latest
book is called, The Tapping Cure.
Dr. Temes lectures around the country at corporate meetings, at medical
conferences, and at health spas, too. She did a stint as a columnist for a
country newspaper where she wrote about acquiring a country house and the
trauma of adjusting to fresh air, quiet, and nature. For
twenty years Temes wrote a monthly column for True Story magazine.
Dr. Roberta, as her clients call her, is now in practice in NJ where she
lives with her husband. Her 3 children are grown, with families of their own.
"The research is mounting: hypnosis can help you lose weight and keep it off longer . . . This set Enjoying Weight Loss has a lot to offer: a warm, fun hypnotist offering sound dietary advice and a variety of trances for a range of issues, from choosing a food plan to avoiding temptation."
-Jean Fain, Harvard Medical School
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Thu. Nov 2, 10:24pm |
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come join me |
0 |
Thu. Nov 2, 9:30pm |
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New Team: Challenge Yourself |
1 |
Thu. Nov 2, 9:20pm |
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running in the cold weather. |
17 |
Thu. Nov 2, 7:30pm |
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It PAYS to be good-looking -- and CONFIDENT |
6 |
Thu. Nov 2, 4:54pm |
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BM issues |
9 |
Thu. Nov 2, 4:49pm |
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Interested in joining our desert group? |
0 |
Thu. Nov 2, 4:36pm |
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Recipe Organizing Software |
8 |
Thu. Nov 2, 4:31pm |
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Obsessed and little sex |
14 |
Thu. Nov 2, 1:03pm |
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Ok, whatever, French women do get fat. |
7 |
Thu. Nov 2, 12:12pm |
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fat smash diet - after reading, seems like a habit, not a diet |
0 |
Thu. Nov 2, 11:52am |
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Mentaly abusive boss |
18 |
Thu. Nov 2, 11:13am |
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Political Wisdom from Chris Rock: |
2 |
Thu. Nov 2, 11:09am |
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What do you do when you feel like giving up? |
8 |
Thu. Nov 2, 8:47am |
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Can I count this as exercise? |
3 |
Wed. Nov 1, 6:04pm |
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So SORE |
7 |
Wed. Nov 1, 4:06pm |
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OT: Roommate Stress/On-topic: Stress & Weight gain |
4 |
Wed. Nov 1, 4:06pm |
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no pain no gain? |
3 |
Wed. Nov 1, 3:07pm |
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A note from the self professed laziest woman in the world |
5 |
Wed. Nov 1, 2:57pm |
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Do people treat you differently now that you are skinnier? |
8 |
Wed. Nov 1, 2:41pm |
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Cardio Training |
2 |
Wed. Nov 1, 1:42pm |
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UNO's pizza and other secrets |
2 |
Wed. Nov 1, 12:44pm |
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actual weight gain or scale being mean?is it water? |
2 |
Wed. Nov 1, 12:28pm |
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swollen belly |
2 |
Wed. Nov 1, 10:44am |
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why am i gaining? i need opinions! |
17 |
Wed. Nov 1, 10:20am |
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OT: Is Reese Going To Be Walking The Line? |
6 |
Wed. Nov 1, 12:20am |
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