Q: How Do You Get What You Want?
A: By Increasing What You Expect Of Yourself
by Jackie Wicks, PEERtrainer co-founder
One question that we keep getting from people in the PEERtrainer community is a variation on this one:
"I have done fairly well and see I have made some changes in my diet and activity. I have lost a few lbs and it is starting to feel good. BUT I have been here before! I get to this point and I ease up on my resolve. I so much desire this time to be different...but honestly I have had to really consider if this is what I expect!"
This person was referring to an idea we talk about a lot- the difference between desire and expectation. We have
an article on the site which goes into an exercise in helping you identify the difference.
In short, we tend to get what we expect. And we tend to not get what we simply want. When you start to expect greater things of yourself you are increasing your standards. Which is something I brought up a week or so ago.
When you get to this point of raised expectations, your belief in your own ability to get what you want skyrockets. It is just going to happen.
You get to a point where you are in a constant problem solving mindset, instead of an excuse making one. You no longer say "I can't do this because....."
Instead you say to yourself "I could do that if...."
But how do you actually get to this point in the context of the reality of your life?
And what if your expectations are so low and ingrained that you can't honestly see things changing or being any different?
Joshua and I put the following call together to shift people from a wanting mindset to a getting mindset. You just need to click on the following link, which will take you to a page where you can download the call right to iTunes or your computer:
This call is about 20 minutes, and I think will help condition you to find practical ways of getting you to more of a possibilities mindset, problem solving mindset.
If you don't have time to listen to the call here are some bullet points on suggestions:
-We all want changes, but parts of us are deeply connected to who we have been.
-We all have a story of who we are, and we have to figure out if we want to continue to this.
-We have to really assess who we
WANT to be.
-As overwhelming as this might be, there a TON of small things that can be worked on.
-Find role models. If you don't have role models in your family with a different story, it is very difficult to believe you can change.
-Be open to connecting with new people. If there are low expectations around you, you have to go beyond that.
-There are role models
EVERYWHERE.
-Good role models
WILL LIKE HELPING YOU.
-Have a flexible and open mind
This article was made as part of the new (and free)
PEERtrainer Pursuit Of Excellence Program. where we focus on ideas beyond weight loss. We start out on identifying ways of getting more physical energy. We then go into a greater focus on the question of "how do we get what we want." We are excited about this program that is taking our focus at PEERtrainer to a new level. Habib is fond of saying that this program goes all the way to 11. :)